• Time To Go Home

    A guy walks into a bar, and he has a drink. He looks in his pocket, and orders another drink, looks in his pocket, and orders another drink, looks in his pocket, and orders another drink, and so on. And the bartender says, “What are you doing; what’s in your pocket?” And the guy said, […]

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  • 50 Cents

    A guy goes into a bar, orders four shots of the most expensive 30-year-old single-malt Scotch and downs them one after the other. The barkeep says, “You look like you’re in a hurry.” “You would be too if you had what I have,” said the guy. “What have you got?” “Fifty cents.”

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  • Quit Drinking

    A guy goes into a bar and orders three separate shot glasses of Irish whiskey. He drinks all three. He does day after day after day, and the bartender finally says, “You know, I can put all three of those shots into one glass for you.” The guy says, “No, I prefer it this way. […]

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  • France

    A Frenchman walks into a bar and he has a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot is wearing a baseball cap. And the bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat — where did you get that?” And the parrot says, “France — they’ve got millions of them there.”

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  • Just Looking Around

    A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, what are you doing?” And the blind man says, “Don’t mind me, I’m just looking around.”

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