You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and be quiet.
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.
"There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.
Mother�s of teens know why animals eat their young.
If your parents did not have any children, chances are you won�t either.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn�t have paid for me.
Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Children will soon forget your presents; they will always remember your presence. - Dobson
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn�t have said.
The main purpose of holding children�s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago, and they�re still getting in!
Grandchildren are God�s reward for not killing your children.
Who are these kids, and why are they calling me Mom?
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
When mama ain�t happy, ain�t nobody happy.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
Familiarity breeds children.
A child�s greatest period of growth is the month after you�ve purchased new school uniforms.
Anyone who says �Easy as taking candy from a baby!� has never tried it.
Ever notice that a human baby doesn�t walk until it�s tall enough to reach a parent�s hand?
The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.
Be nice to your kids. They�ll choose your nursing home.