Thanks for the Emails!

27 / Януари / 2020

Thankfully my friends included me in on their quest to inform all! Because of you....

* I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with a disease.
* I smell bad, but thankfully I stopped using deodorant because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, for fear that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I now don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older .
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made, expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

It's weird, though that my new free cell phone never arrived, and neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland. But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will poop on you today at 7ᚨ pm